Today I got up at the crack of one (in the afternoon), which is usually when I'm scheduled to work. It gets slightly less disgusting when you consider that I went to sleep at two-thirty in the morning, but only slightly. This is good: if it wasn't decadent I wouldn't have enjoyed doing it so much.
Today Daddy and I went grocery shopping after I put my shoes on. You probably didn't know that "putting your shoes on" involves an hour of chatting with a friend on the internet. This is why my parents sent me to college. Before I even got dressed, though, let alone put my shoes on, we checked the ads. Kiki (Suzy's mom) had given us just about every grocery store circular in town. We wound up getting the turkey from pretty much the only place whose ads we didn't have, but this is fine. It let us comparison-price-shop without actually having to go to these various stores, which is nice.
I do not believe in driving all the firetruck over town to save 10 cents on toilet paper. And as long as we're talking about toilet paper, I don't even believe in buying it more than once or twice a year: either someone else buys it or I go to Costco and get two 52-roll packs of it. (As, really: I don't like buying toilet paper, but I like running out of it even less. Having to build a fort out of toilet paper in the closet is worth it to me not to buy it more than once a year.)
So I have my shoes on, and we're in the car, and my father turns it on and starts to drive. He turns on the radio.
...I had never imagined before that my father would groove out to the Black Eyed Peas' "My Hump" before. It was... surreal.
We went to the cheap market, and it was good. Except for the part where I had pretzels for breakfast (allergic to gluten, remember?) and no lunch. And the part where today is payday for most of town. And the part where I'm not too clear on locations in this store and my father, who thinks linearly in every other aspect of his life, navigates a grocery store like Billy in a Family Circus cartoon. Or a three-legged squirrel with attention deficit disorder. An ADD squirrel where all three legs are on the same side. That the other shoppers felt the need to stop in random places (always blocking access or egress from an aisle) and contemplate the state of their souls merely made the expedition more charming.
We spent over an hour in the market. Then we had to go to the other market. And I am tired and haven't eaten. My friend Shonelle got a call from me, which cheered us both up, and I called Ericka twice: once to chat, the second time because I forgot which kind of white wine is the driest and guess who's trained as a sommalier? Hint: it isn't me. Hint: it definitely isn't my father. He was trying to get Riesling. And then he was looking for a sauvingion blanc in the merlot section.
Protip: Riesling does not go well with a family where nobody likes sweet wine.
By the way: upon putting away the four bottles of wine? Holy crap we have a lot of booze. We don't even drink more than once a month or two. Which, now that I think about it, is probably why we have so much booze. "Vintage" booze, even. I think the bottle of Kahlua may be older than I am. S'good, though. Or maybe it's really not and I've just developed a taste for 15-20 year old Kahlua.
Came home, unpacked the provisions, and then cleaned out the refrigerator. I am a jewel among women: not only did the corpse of Birdzilla (Daddy wanted the 26-pound turkey... granted we are feeding 7 people and he and my grandparents want leftovers, but... Jesus Christ.) fit, along with everything else, there is room left over.
And I didn't snap at anyone today, and managed to smile at the grocery clerks. I am a jewel among women.
This jewel is going to figure out who's making what when, because we all work... probably I will make pie tomorrow (I work Sunday through Wednesday), bake the sweet potatoes for sweet potato fries tomorrow, my brother can make the mashed potatoes (the day of or ahead of time, I don't care), Mom can do the Jello salad and whatever pies I don't get to on Wednesday, and Turkey Day itself we just steam the asparagus and roast Birdzilla. And I like cooking everything myself (control issues, what?), but I like sanity even more.
So. Now we just have to clean out the freezer and I have to wash my sheets. My trusty sidekick (the cat) has been industriously shedding in my bed for the last several days. Good to know that whenever I want to be in my bed she's already there, sleeping in my spot for me.
...bitch.
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